For so long, I had a wall up. I was afraid to show who I really was, I was afraid to tell him and let him see the worst and darkest parts about myself. To let him know things that I swore to myself I would never tell anyone. I began to show him who I really was, bring up those topics about myself and things I was ashamed of, and to show and tell him of all my faults and shortcomings that I was aware of. When you begin to give yourself to someone, you cant just give them the good parts. You have to give them the good and the bad. I love Cody because of all his wonderful strengths AND his weaknesses as a person. Now please don't confuse this with me thinking of him as weak in any nature, areas where I am weak, he is strong, and visa versa.
When we begin to fully live, think, and speak freely with another individual while they do the same - the most wonderful things can happen. And when the combined of those two connect, something beautiful and rare is sparked. I began to feel the like the only thing I wanted to do was to make him happy. I wanted to give him the world and began to literally freak out and worry about him all the time. What was happening to me? Then I knew.. that just the thought of a life without him was unbearable to think of. I was happy before him, but he made my life so much happier. I had loved before him, but he showed me how to love on incredibly more levels than I ever thought possible... and before I knew it, I was in love. Completely, hopelessly, and crazy in love with him.
I knew - and know - that this is the man I want to start a life with. He is the one I want to come home to every day, he is the one I want to be a wife to. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he will be the most incredible father. And I can not wait to spend the rest of my life with this man.
So how did I fully fall in love... again? I began to love myself and make myself happy, I built a solid foundation of friendship that had all the things that were most important to me - Respect, communication, laughter, service, and understanding. I allowed myself time to heal and time to freely let feelings come, and not force anything. I let him into my heart, and see the best and worst parts of me. I let him open up freely - and embraced the best and worst sides of him. I acknowledge that there is truly nothing I would want to change about who he is (Aside from always leaving every drawer open and the toilet seat up) - and with that, love just came. So easily. This how I came to fall in love again. And it is has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.