Friday, March 9, 2012

Letter One: I'm Not Proud Of It

Its that time again!

You guys seem to like these, I love to write them, so here we go.


Dear Crazy Man Driver with Gold Chains in the Escalade Wanna Be with Spray Painted Rims,
Who do you think you are to cut me off in traffic (to the point of almost killing me) and then proceed to scream F* you in your mirror!? Yes, don't mind if I do throw my hands up in the air like Miley as a signal for me mentally yelling "What the hell are you doing?"...  You proceed to call me a B*tch... After which I yell.. "Well you're driving like one!" This seemed to really tick you off which surprisingly gave me much pleasure to watch and witness. You tried to beat me at this so called traffic game and I'm O so glad I caught your wife yelling at you for driving like a Jackass. Guess what? I won this round.
Lindsay: 1
Fake Escalade : 0

Dear Mouth,
Please start refusing to take in all the bad food I try to feed you. Yes, those potato chips were amazing but stomach and thighs here are seriously pissed at you for it. Have some self control won't ya!?

Dear Draw Something,
You are amazing. I love you and even though you make me feel like a 5 year old trying to draw something ridiculous from the options of Outkast, blue, or a grenade - you still give me giggles for my awesomely failed attempts to be good at your game. And yes, you read correctly... I said giggles.

Dear Scarlett Johanhowever-you-spell-it,
I am sorry - and I know I am going to get SO much grief for writing this, but for some reason you bother me to no end and I can't stand you and your nasty desire to make out with Sean Penn who is pretty much the age of your dad. Yes, I know -I know it was a long time ago but I. Cant. let. it. go. Plus.. are you freaking insane? You had Ryan freakin Reynolds! But you still bother me and annoy me like a nat.

Dear Christmas Tree,
Yes, you are still there on my back porch. Just checking. Please go away now.

Dear Meniere's,
I feel you trying to act up AGAIN. The ringing in the ear is getting old and I would much like to keep my hearing thank you. Please go away now and don't ruin my weekend. Again.

Dear Life,
You have blessed me far beyond what I deserve and I am indebted to God and you forever. I love you and hope I can do right by  you.



Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

lol .. this is cute!

Christine said...

Love these so much. I am totally on your side about ScarJo. I can't stand her and she really annoys me too. And my Christmas tree is still up too because I'm too lazy to take it down, haha

Erin said...

I somewhat get enjoyment out of other drivers being crazy and yelling at me, when I was just cruising along and not at fault. It's kinda' funny to see someone get so worked up! ;)

Michelle P said...

AHAHAHHAAH people are so crazy when they drive!

Meg {henninglove} said...

what? still have your christmas tree? you are too funny!

Anonymous said...

hahaha...... too funny!

Lesley @ my lively mind said...

cute post! the guy in the fake escalade seems like a real winner. . . i would've liked to have seen that!

Gentri said...

hahaha! Love them all. :) This is so fantastic.

Foster said...

Scarlet is very stupid. She had an incredible handsome husband and she wants Sean Penn. Really? She has to be on drugs.

Renee said...

Your letters are freaking amazing! I feel like I could have written half of them myself! Dear mouth. Word. haha. Love your blog so cute! And I'm slightly obsessed with your header!

Shannon Gallegos said...

THIS.WAS.AWESOME > "Dear Scarlett Johanhowever-you-spell-it" hear, hear!

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