Friday, March 2, 2012
Let Me Tell You...
Dear Christmas Tree,
You are still embarrassingly hanging out on my back deck. Everyone can see you from the main road. Please just find a big strong man to get rid of you so I don't have to shamefully feel like a redneck every day. I know this is Georgia but c'mon now.
Dear NEW Moleskin Planner,
I am in love with you. You are so cool, come with stickers, and make me feel so deceivingly organized. You make me feel kind of cool every time I write in you.
Dear Little Sister,
This weekend is your last highschool play/musical performance ever. And once again, you have the lead role. You are SO talented and fearless on that stage and I am so proud to be your big sister. Ps... I am SO proud that you are following in my footsteps and going to BYU-Idaho for college!
Learn how to freakin not walk in the middle of the road.
The woman who is about to run you over for 15 points.
Dear Powers That Be,
Please deposit $9 Million dollars into my bank account -Waiting Patiently
Please stop pretending your an insomniac and waiting until 4:30 am to fall asleep. Also, it would be nice if you started developing and showing off that invisible 6 pack.
You should be ashamed of yourselves. Stop covering and over exposing who wore what, who's dating who, and what scandal we can get dirt on next. There are SO MANY other good, worthy things in the world to exploit and present. You're one of the very reasons human morals are declining.
Dear Woman Whose Ass is Hanging Out At This Nice Restaurant,
Please... Have some class. No one wants to see your nasty, flabby butt cheeks hanging out of your way too tight hot pink miniskirt. I hope you haven't reproduced because you're one of the contributing reasons women have no class today. Please act your age and start respecting yourself.
I know it's easy to want an "easy" slutty girl. But please try and expect more out of women and more women will expect more out of themselves. You're better than the world gives you credit for.
Dear Snooki, Lindsay Lohan, Nicki Minaj and other talent-less women in Hollywood,
Grow up, and make something of yourselves.
Sorry for the ranting above. But you all are so incredible. Thank you so much for your comments and support. They mean more than you'll ever know.