The Return of Letters

*Dear Gym, I missed you. I am so glad we are friends once again. Even better? Because I declared you as my new BFF, I got a FREE personal training session. Guess what? He worked out my upper body in just half an hour.... And then... I couldnt drive home. Literally, picture swerving into lanes because my arms were shaking. Thus, I have opted to drive with my knee when possible. 

Love, A dedicated friend

*Dear Media, Please stop "sexualizing" the younger generations. You are the reason why we have stupid shows like "16 and Pregnant", "Teenage Mom", and rising teen pregnancies and teen STDs. Yes, I fully respect the hard lives of these women. But why do you now condone children having children. Why can't this younger generation be granted a wonderful and ignorant childhood as they deserve? Why are you trying to make 15-17 year olds act like they are in their mid 20s? You should be ashamed of yourselves. It should not be right for sex to be so prevalent in teenage shows aimed towards highschoolers. Is nothing sacred to you? Its different for adult programs and audiences, but ABC "Family"? We should not have to be already thinking about this conversation when it comes to my 8 year old brother. 

Dear Scramble with Friends, You are awesome and I love you. The end. (LindsayNicoleee if you're obsessed too)

Dear Little Sister, Yesterday you turned 18! What? You're legal now? No... You're still 6 in my mind. You are so beautiful and talented and I am proud to be called your big sister. You are such an example to me and I love your realness and self assurance. ps... You are hilarious and make the most epic impressions.

Dear Facebook, it has been almost a month since I deleted you, and it feels so good. I know I will probably come back soon, but until then, it has been so nice focusing on my own life rather than obsessing too much over other's. 

Dear Past Two Weeks, Where have you gone? I know I have been preoccupied (okay fully MIA) due to this new position... But I don't think it's fair that you completely pass me by without my knowledge. Heck.

*Dear Little Ones Whom I used to be a Camp Counselour and Church Leader To,

You're getting MARRIED!? Wait what? I used to babysit you, you just graduated high school! I feel old! Should I have a kid by now? I'm so confused...

Dear Life, Even though I don't give you enough credit, you are fantastically awesome.  

*Finally, Dear This Guy in the Video Below, You are AWESOME. I wish I could move like you, you made my whole day and my cheeks are still hurting from this. Love, an old enough person to watch this video.

Letter One: I'm Not Proud Of It

Its that time again!

You guys seem to like these, I love to write them, so here we go.



Dear Crazy Man Driver with Gold Chains in the Escalade Wanna Be with Spray Painted Rims,
Who do you think you are to cut me off in traffic (to the point of almost killing me) and then proceed to scream F* you in your mirror!? Yes, don't mind if I do throw my hands up in the air like Miley as a signal for me mentally yelling "What the hell are you doing?"...  You proceed to call me a B*tch... After which I yell.. "Well you're driving like one!" This seemed to really tick you off which surprisingly gave me much pleasure to watch and witness. You tried to beat me at this so called traffic game and I'm O so glad I caught your wife yelling at you for driving like a Jackass. Guess what? I won this round.
Lindsay: 1
Fake Escalade : 0

Dear Mouth,
Please start refusing to take in all the bad food I try to feed you. Yes, those potato chips were amazing but stomach and thighs here are seriously pissed at you for it. Have some self control won't ya!?

Dear Draw Something,
You are amazing. I love you and even though you make me feel like a 5 year old trying to draw something ridiculous from the options of Outkast, blue, or a grenade - you still give me giggles for my awesomely failed attempts to be good at your game. And yes, you read correctly... I said giggles.

Dear Scarlett Johanhowever-you-spell-it,
I am sorry - and I know I am going to get SO much grief for writing this, but for some reason you bother me to no end and I can't stand you and your nasty desire to make out with Sean Penn who is pretty much the age of your dad. Yes, I know -I know it was a long time ago but I. Cant. let. it. go. Plus.. are you freaking insane? You had Ryan freakin Reynolds! But you still bother me and annoy me like a nat.

Dear Christmas Tree,
Yes, you are still there on my back porch. Just checking. Please go away now.

Dear Meniere's,
I feel you trying to act up AGAIN. The ringing in the ear is getting old and I would much like to keep my hearing thank you. Please go away now and don't ruin my weekend. Again.

Dear Life,
You have blessed me far beyond what I deserve and I am indebted to God and you forever. I love you and hope I can do right by  you.

Let Me Tell You...

Dear Christmas Tree,
You are still embarrassingly hanging out on my back deck. Everyone can see you from the main road. Please just find a big strong man to get rid of you so I don't have to shamefully feel like a redneck every day. I know this is Georgia but c'mon now.

Dear NEW Moleskin Planner,
I am in love with you. You are so cool, come with stickers, and make me feel so deceivingly organized. You make me feel kind of cool every time I write in you.

Dear Little Sister,
This weekend is your last highschool play/musical performance ever. And once again, you have the lead role. You are SO talented and fearless on that stage and I am so proud to be your big sister. Ps... I am SO proud that you are following in my footsteps and going to BYU-Idaho for college!


Dear Pedestrians,
Learn how to freakin not walk in the middle of the road.

Sincerely,
The woman who is about to run you over for 15 points.

Dear Powers That Be,
Please deposit $9 Million dollars into my bank account -Waiting Patiently

Dear Body,
Please stop pretending your an insomniac and waiting until 4:30 am to fall asleep. Also, it would be nice if you started developing and showing off that invisible 6 pack.

Dear Media,
You should be ashamed of yourselves. Stop covering and over exposing who wore what, who's dating who, and what scandal we can get dirt on next. There are SO MANY other good, worthy things in the world to exploit and present. You're one of the very reasons human morals are declining.

Dear Woman Whose Ass is Hanging Out At This Nice Restaurant,
Please... Have some class. No one wants to see your nasty, flabby butt cheeks hanging out of your way too tight hot pink miniskirt. I hope you haven't reproduced because you're one of the contributing reasons women have no class today. Please act your age and start respecting yourself.


Dear Men,
I know it's easy to want an "easy" slutty girl. But please try and expect more out of women and more women will expect more out of themselves. You're better than the world gives you credit for.

Dear Snooki, Lindsay Lohan, Nicki Minaj and other talent-less women in Hollywood,
Grow up, and make something of yourselves.


Dear Readers,
Sorry for the ranting above. But you all are so incredible. Thank you so much for your comments and support. They mean more than you'll ever know.

Seven Letters

1 // 2 //

Thank you for all the love yesterday on the new layout :) I quite love it too. Today I was thinking about what I wanted to write about and in reading some of yalls posts, I couldnt help create an internal dialogue of what I would write for a Friday Letter.
So there, I am going to try and take a stab at it.


1. Dear Phone Alarm Clock,

Please don't take me seriously when I turn off your alarm unknowingly why still fully asleep. You need to start reading me better, I feel like I already know everything about you.

Love,  the tardy girl who pays your bills.



2. Dear Atlanta Drivers,

Please stop door dinging my freaking car, backing into it and not leaving a note, and swerving in my lane. I would truly appreciate it if you ignored the invisible sign above my car that must read "Please cut me off because it would make my day."

Sincerely, the woman who just mentally screamed F* you.



3. Dear Heart,

Please make up your mind and stop complicating everything. Please just do what I want you to do and start putting yourself on the defrost setting. You're making my life a living hell.

Love, the one who loves being alone too much.


4. Dear Massive White BMW,

For the love of whoever you believe in, STOP taking up two parking spots in the front lot which is prime parking.

Love, your neighbour who has debated keying the side of your car.


5. Dear TY (My little Mazda),

I would appreciate it if you started paying for your own food gas. You're starting to be really high maintenance. But I also want to apologize for all of the idiots who beat you up while I am not there. Don't feel bad if you want to hit back. You have my permission.

Love, your wonderful owner.


6. Dear Weekend,

I am in love with you. Please stay longer and come around more often.

Love, Your stage 5 clinger.


7. Dear Readers,

You all are rockstars and are amazing. I love you guys so much. Your comments make my day and just make life better.

Love, Lindsay